


Flicker

by patimaine



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anyways, I’m sorry, Kinda, M/M, and that’s all that matters tbh, as usual I don’t know how to tag, but if you like sad fics then, hang the dj au, no one actually DIES but, pure angst, there’s no happy ending, they love each other very dearly, this fic is for you, this shit is sad af, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 01:55:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15786576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patimaine/pseuds/patimaine
Summary: “If I could choose, you know I would choose you for the rest of my life.”Harry's lips clenched together for a minute, before he said, "The rest of your life is a long time for you not to spend with your soulmate, though.”"No," Louis wrinckled his nose, shaking his head in some sort of disbelief. “Life would never be long enough with you, love.”~Or, the Hang the DJ AU in which the System put them together, they fell in love, but they’re not each other’s perfect match.





	Flicker

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this for my creative writing class and I really like my writing in this. I’d like to develop this one shot to a longer story some time in the future, maybe with a happy ending. I have already started to plan it and work on it a bit, but I thought I’d post this version because I like it so much. I really like angst fics, so. 
> 
> I don’t think you should have watched Hang the DJ to understand the story, but I really recommend you to. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it. :)

The grass tickling between Harry’s fingers was soft, even if it didn’t feel the same against his sun burnt back. His heavy heart was filled with such anguish that he felt like it could have smothered him, filling his lungs with unwelcomed air and his eyes with unpleasant tears. 

His life was now colored with the stormiest shade of blue, the exact same color of the eyes he had seen crinkle with so much joy and delight many and many times, the color that used to reflect the summer’s sunny sky as the sunlight bathed their bodies.

The sky was alluring by then, just as the eyes of his lover, Louis Tomlinson. His Louis. 

Now, even though in reality the sky was clear and full of stars, each time Louis’ eyelids flickered, with his lashes casting a shadow over his sharp cheekbones, it was like thunders echoing all over, and lightening flashing straight to Harry’s heart. And it had the same power and electricity he felt the first time they touched. 

And every time after that, if he was being honest. 

They were both splayed on Louis’ front yard, where the Tomlinsons had been cultivating different kinds of flowers such as begonias, daisies, and Louis’ favorites, the woody nightshade flowers. The air there smelled delicious. 

Yet, Harry knew all flowers would eventually fade away. 

There were some beer cans spread around them, for they had been drinking the whole afternoon, and now that the evening had come, they felt a bit lazy and shiftless. As if the weight of the whole universe was sitting on their hearts. 

Louis had his head resting on Harry’s chest and his arm wrapped around Harry’s shoulder. His body felt warm tucked in Harry’s arms, but Harry was freezing inside. The night had been silent for a bit now; despite of the crickets harmonizing through the night, the squeaking of Louis’ old and rusty swings from when he was a kid and the old radio Louis’ father would keep on their porch playing, likewise, old songs.

The mood was bittersweet. Harry felt so lucky for having met Louis. But, the pain he would feel because of the void Louis would leave was already set in his chest, and there was no way he could get rid of it. He didn’t even want to, for the only way of getting rid of the pain was by getting rid of all the memories he had of Louis and with Louis.  
And that would never happen. He would never allow it to happen. 

Beep. “You have one hour left,” both their System devices announced at the same time, breaking their comfortable silence. 

Harry heavily let the air he was holding inside his lungs out, in an attempt to make his heart feel lighter. Louis looked up, those big blue eyes glimmering at Harry, much the same of when you open a window to the first day of spring after a never-ending winter. “It’s okay,” he whispered and nodded in an attempt to look more confident and self-assure that he really was. Harry knew that on the inside Louis was just as hurt, it’s just that Louis was so much braver and stronger than Harry, and he would hold all their shit by himself if that would make Harry hurt less.

Louis lightly kissed Harry’s neck and genuinely smiled, the corner of his eyes wrinkling as per usual, and it was like rays of light were beaming directly at Harry’s cloudy face. “Hey,” Louis said, nosing along to Harry’s jaw, his hair brushing lightly on Harry’s skin. “What are you thinking about?”

Harry bit his bottom lip. “Nothing important, love,” he lied. 

Louis sighed, and as he shifted on the grass and turned on his stomach, the summertime breeze roused in the air. It smelled green, reflecting the emerald shade from Harry’s own eyes.

Their moment of comfortable silence fell back over them, in which, once again, blue was crashing into green. 

“I know the face you make when you’re thinking,” Louis said as he softly deepened his cold fingertip in Harry’s dimple. “The frog face.”

Harry’s shy smile made his dimple even deeper. Louis loved them, so Harry didn’t mind showing them all the time. He whimpered, “I don’t have a frog face.”

Louis batted his lashes mischievously, “Oh, but you do.”

He knew he did and he knew Louis found it beautiful, for he would tell him all the time. Of course, it was not something easy for Harry to believe and sometimes he would even argue that Louis was seeing blind. _You don’t know that,_ Louis would reply, _you can’t see through my eyes_. 

Yeah, he was lucky, indeed. 

He felt bad for the days that never got to know Louis and for the nights that never would.

Harry ran his tongue over his bottom lip, feeling the heat spread through his chest and his face. The blue eyes over him felt like as if he was being ripped apart, a volcano overflowing through his cheeks. 

“The flowers,” Harry simply said.

“The flowers?” Louis crumpled his brows together, upholding his chin on his hand. He glanced at Harry, biting his lip. “What about them?”

“They are funny. As are the stars.”

Louis looked up to the sky, blinking slowly. “What’s funny about the stars?”

Harry brought both his hand under his head and threw his head up, “They are here now, shining and making the night look beautiful and all,” he blinked drunkenly, opening and closing his mouth, but not uttering a single word. Then, he released the air he had been keeping captive inside his lungs. “They are lightening your face and making you look more perfect than normal.”

He let the sentence hanging on thick air for a while.

Louis turned his gaze to Harry and raised his brow, deciding to finally break the silence. “But?”

“But they will not be here tomorrow morning.” 

Louis giggled, gently stroking Harry’s cheek. “They will be back tomorrow, silly.”

Harry snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“They will be here tomorrow night again, and the night after that,” Louis shrugged, sounding a little hesitant when he continued, “Unless it’s raining and there is so much fog that you won’t be able to see them.”

“It’s pouring right now, Louis. Inside.” 

Louis eyes slowly scanned over Harry’s face, at last realizing what that was really about. His thin lips were opened in the shape of an “Oh,” but there was no sound coming out from his throat. 

As to make the moment even crueler, both their devices beeped again, “Thirty minutes left.”

Louis shook his head as he grabbed Harry’s face with both his hands. “I love you, Harry, and I’m so sorry things have to be like this.”

"I know.”

“If I could choose, you know I would choose you for the rest of my life.”

Harry's lips clenched together for a minute, before he said, "The rest of your life is a long time for you not to spend with your perfect match, though.”

"No," Louis wrinckled his nose, shaking his head in some sort of disbelief. “Life would never be long enough with you, love.”

Harry offered Louis a tiny smile, keeping his eyes on Louis' face. “That’s not what the System says, though.”

“Fuck the S-“ was what Louis was able to blurt out before Harry covered his mouth shut with his hand, giving Louis a reprimanding look.

“Don’t say that. They can hear you.”

“ _Fuck the System_ ,” Louis whispered, making Harry shoulders shake when he giggled. “I mean it.”

Harry knew Louis meant it, but he also knew that there was nothing they could do to change things. 

When they first met, they had mutually decided to check their relationship expiration date. It was four years ago. Back then, they thought something would cause them to fall apart naturally, a fight or whatever. If they had known that they would still be deeply in love when their expiration day had come, they would have avoided to fall in love for sure, because that was the only thing they could have possibly done.

That was the only way they could have sabotaged the System, somehow, because even though every individual of their society had to conform to it, it couldn't force them to love someone. 

Anyways, they just hoped it would hurt a lot less. It was not fair.

"Do you think you will be able to fall in love again?" Harry asked, pulling Louis' to lay back on his chest, then he started stroking Louis' hair. 

Louis looked a little surprised with the question as though Harry had offended him, but he was confident enough when he simply replied, "No."

Harry smiled and pecked Louis' forehead. "I think you can and I think you will, for you have the biggest heart and you were born to bring love to the world."

"I was born to love you."

Harry snorted, with tears stinging the corner of his eyes, burning like they could burst into flames. "I am too small for your heart." 

He felt Louis' arms tightening around his body. Then he heard Louis' voice calling, "Harry, what do you think will happen when we're out of time?"

_I will love you then just like I love you now_ , he thought, but he couldn't answer, because suddenly he was not at the Tomlinson's yard anymore, neither he was at his home nor he was anywhere he knew of. He was nowhere. 

He didn't even think he existed anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Please, don’t kill me, I’m sorry.


End file.
